


First Kiss

by aeternelle



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 00:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternelle/pseuds/aeternelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They conversed in fits and starts, about topics that varied from music to piloting, and Shinji had babbled awkwardly about himself in order to fill some of the longer silences between them. Sometimes Kaworu would smile at him, and that encouraged Shinji. He liked making the other boy smile. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from my writing blog @ aeternelle.tumblr.com  
> Shout out to tumblr user coolworu for being the most rad of RP partners, and for being the inspiration for this tiny little blip of a fic. Lastly, (but not least) a big thank you to the kawoshin fandom on tumblr for over eighty notes on the original post. I never expected that kind of response to my writing, and honestly it was a little overwhelming.

The sun begins to set over the ruined parts of Tokyo-3 as the two boys watch from the roof of the apartment building, casting long shadows where the light is unable to touch them.

Kaworu’s shoulders are slumped, his posture lax. Over the past few weeks Shinji has watched the shadows beneath his eyes deepen, his expression growing steadily more overcast. He speaks much less frequently, now, and only when prompted by a question from someone else. Recently, the aura of melancholy surrounding him has become much heavier, as if it were a physical weight pressing down on the other boy’s shoulders. 

Shinji worries about him. He tries to pay as much attention to Kaworu as possible, and he’s brought lunches to school for him every day for the past three weeks — ever since he noticed that the other boy never seemed to eat anything at lunch time. Shinji was already used to getting up early to pack lunches for himself, Misato, Asuka and Ayanami, so adding one more for Kaworu wasn’t any extra trouble. 

The first day he’d shyly delivered the other boy’s lunch, he’d made to scurry quickly away before embarrassing himself any further, but was stopped by a gentle touch on his wrist.

“ _Please stay_.”

They ate lunch on the roof that afternoon. Kaworu seemed to like high places. They conversed in fits and starts, about topics that varied from music to piloting, and Shinji had babbled awkwardly about himself in order to fill some of the longer silences between them. Sometimes Kaworu would smile at him, and that encouraged Shinji. He liked making the other boy smile. 

Nowadays, those smiles were becoming more and more rare, and they never seemed to touch his eyes like they had before. Shinji probably doesn’t smile much anymore, either. Not after what happened with Asuka, and then with Ayanami. Kaworu was the only person he had left to turn to, and the other boy didn’t seem to be holding out much better than he was. 

Steeling his nerves, Shinji finally asks the question that’s been at the forefront of his mind all day. 

“Kaworu-kun… is there something going on? You seem…” he gropes for a word before settling on “upset.”

“Ah… is that so?” The other boy asks, lifting his pale head to look at Shinji. He smiles wanly, lips twitching with the effort. He looks pained.

“It’s rude to answer a question with another question, you know,” says Shinji. “It makes you sound insincere.” He shifts closer to the other boy, wondering if he should take his hand or something to show support or comfort. “I um — I want to help, if I can. If that’s okay.” His pinkie nudges Kaworu’s. 

A sigh, then the other boy speaks. “If I have caused you to worry unnecessarily for me, I apologize, Shinji-kun. You have many things upon which to focus your attention, all more important than the well-being of myself.” He makes to move away. Shinji’s hand on his wrist stops him. 

“You’re — you’re important too, Kaworu-kun. If you’re hurting, I want to know. If someone is hurting you, please tell me. You’re my friend, and you’re important to me.”

“ _I don’t want to lose you too._ ” unspoken.

Kaworu turns to face him, surprise apparent in his expression. The gap between them grows smaller as he laces their fingers together. He doesn’t speak, waiting for clarification from Shinji. 

“If there’s — If someone…” Taking a deep breath, he soldiers on, changing tactics. “Y-you should be able to love whoever you want, and if someone tells you otherwise, they’re wrong.”

Comprehension dawns on Kaworu’s features. His lips twitch with something that could be barely suppressed laughter. Shinji’s heart unclenches in relief, then seizes up again when the other boy asks “Could I love you, then?”

His face flushes, mouth going dry. He hadn’t expected that sort of response… and yet, he doesn’t move away, doesn’t make any move to separate their hands. 

“I-I—”

Shinji realizes with a start that he wants to say yes. 

The gap between them closes. The sun dips below the horizon, bathing everything in a warm red glow, as Kaworu’s lips brush softly against his own.


End file.
